I sat down slowly in the fancy restaurant and soaked in the lavish surroundings. The whole place screamed glamour and plush. I couldn’t believe where I was. I observed as the waiters, chefs and restaurant owner knew my dates name and shook his hand. I felt like I was on a date with a celebrity, where everyone knew who he was except for me.
I should have been the happiest woman alive on a date with a supposedly millionaire and hotshot. But, why wasn’t I excited and taking it all in. I sat back and looked again at my surroundings and my date. He wasn’t bad looking, not my usual type but he seemed keen to take me out and dressed well.
I noticed he was constantly distracted and barely took note of what I said. Whatever I said was greeted with a negative and I don’t care attitude. His eyes constantly darted around the room and were never on me for more than 10 seconds. He seemed on edge and that made me feel nervous.
The conversation didn’t flow as freely as I would have liked it. I tried to lighten the situation a few times, but he just didn’t get my humour. Did rich men not have a sense of humour?
Shortly into the date the mood changed when I foolishly made the mistake of telling him I had been to the swanky place before. That’s when his attention rose and the questions came quick fire. Who took me there? Why did I go with another man? I had only met my date twice and he had transformed from a calm man to an impatient and jealous maniac. He asked how much money the man who had taken me out before earns. I didn’t know how to respond and felt on edge. No matter what answer I gave, I was greeted with a response. His mood changed more and more and he grew more impatient and swear words flew out of his mouth with ease. Surely this wasn’t how a second date should be? Surely, he should be trying to impress me with his charm and charisma? Should I be blown away by his 100k Hublot watch and his desire to buy an apartment in Knightsbridge? Did that excuse his behaviour and foul language? I stopped for a second and forwarded the situation to a further six months and it dawned on me that this was a man who wanted a mute woman who looked pretty on his arm and told him how great he was. There was no way on earth I could be that kind of woman not even for a millionaire.
His words got harsher and I took the step to leave and tell him I was going. That’s when he really started laying the insults and swearing at me. I didn’t retaliate back and just held my head up high and walked out of the place as fast as I could. My heart was pounding and I walked as quickly as I could along the busy street trying to get as far as possible from the restaurant. I couldn’t believe what had just happened. I looked back at the situation trying to figure out what I did wrong and how this man thought it was justified to swear and speak harshly to me. I thought back to other situations where men had spoken in an abrupt and rude manner towards me. Was I at fault? Was I doing something wrong? I could have stayed in his company and allowed him to speak rudely to me in the hope that he was having a bad day. I was lucky I figure out what he was like on the second date. Some women don’t know what a man is truly like before it’s too late and they have fallen for him.
Everyday a woman will be either physically or mentally abused by a man who tries to belittle her or make her feel worthless. It’s up to us as women to hold our heads up high and believe in our own self-worth. No one has the right to undermine anyone ever, but we can control how someone makes us feel and walk away from a situation before it gets out of hand.
Unapologetic Muslim woman's thoughts 