Gaza

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Every day is a struggle,

I wake up not knowing if I will live or die,

I live in fear that we I never see tomorrow,

I walk along the empty streets,

Searching for friends and neighbours,

I see my best friend running towards me,

I hear the rocket and watch as it pierces her heart and her body is flown into the air,

I cover my mouths, trying to conceal my scream,

Tears drip down my face I look at the dead corpse lying on the ground,

She was only six and dreamed of being a princess,

Her life taken by a bullet,

Her princess dress torn and covered in blood,

Her innocent face staring at me,

 

My body is numb from the shock,

Tears welling down my face clutching my little princess,

How many more dead bodies do I have to see?

How many mothers will lose their children, sons or husbands?

 

The sounds of rockets startle me and I run for cover,

I pray that no one I know has been killed,

Next time it could be me,

I pray this nightmare will end and I can play again on the streets of Gaza,

I hope I live until I am seven….

 

Sorry is not the hardest word

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How many times have you said sorry?

“I only ever say sorry if I mean it other wise I won’t bother saying it”  

“I say it sometimes to keep the peace”

“I say it but I don’t mean it”

“I rarely say sorry”.

Which statement best describes your response when it comes to saying sorry?

personally, I only ever say sorry if I have to or I genuinely think I am wrong. I don’t see the point in saying sorry for the sake of it. I also don’t feel comfortable when people say sorry to me as I don’t know how to react.

I sat and watched someone today sincerely say sorry and it moved me and I could feel my eyes welling up. The apology was not made towards me and I was only a spectator, but I was touched by how a simple word ‘sorry’ can have such an impact and forge or break relationships.

The man in question turned to face the person he was apologising to and held his hands out to him for forgiveness. He asked him to forgive him for any hurt or pain he had caused him and I could hear the sincerity in his voice and see the tears rolling down his face. Both men are in their 50s, married with children and known each other their entire lives, yet something trivial caused them to close the door on their relationship. It was moving to watch two grown men apologise to each other as often men don’t show their emotion. It took a few deaths, weddings and births for both to realise how short life is. But a lot of time was wasted due to pride and anger.

Are you to proud to say sorry and admit you’re in the wrong? Will you hold a grudge for years and allow it to eat at you and make you bitter. How do you react when someone says sorry to you? “I don’t care and I will not make amends”, “So what if they said sorry, they shouldn’t have done it in the first person”, “you always say sorry and I forgive you and you just do it again”. These are thoughts that can often run through our minds. I will always acknowledge someone’s apology and I might forgive, but I’ll never forget.

As I’ve gotten older I realise that life is too short and it is not worth holding grudges for ever. Often it can be too late to say we are sorry and let someone know how much they mean to us, because of pride or just not caring and then it’s too late, that person has gone for ever.

Don’t wait too long to let someone know what they mean to you and don’t let your pride hold you back from saying sorry.

Taking a life- One minute you’re here the next you’re gone

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What do you do when someone you thought you know so well suddenly dies? You cry of course and think about all the great times you had? But, what if that person chose to take his or her own life. Do you still feel the same remorse and sadness? “How could they do that”, “They must be weak”. Are these the thoughts running through your head as you read this? Let me tell you something taking your own life is not easy. We cry and wince with pain when we cut ourselves and most of us are afraid of dying. I am afraid of dying, but there have been points in my life where I have said yes I am fed up and don’t want to live. But, I am not able to inflict harm on myself. I faint if I see a needle.

So how do we feel when someone takes his or her own life? Kurt cobain and various other celebrities have done it. They had everything you could want, fame and fortune, what else did they need. But, were they happy? And obviously, they didn’t have everything because they reached a low and a point were they couldn’t cope with life or anything. So, they choose a different option to end their pain and suffering.

Imagine seeing someone you know lying on a hospital bed with drips attached to them and knowing they don’t have a chance in hell of living. What hurts more is knowing that they don’t want to live. The moment comes when the Dr tells you the person is dead. Emotion hits you and you either freeze or break down. People around you are hysterical with screaming and wailing. The friend/relative/partner you loved has gone. You will never ever be able to hear them laugh or cry again. But, you’ll always be able to hear yourself cry, as their memory will always stay with you.

What could you have done differently? Could you have stopped it or been there more for her or him? “Maybe If I had listened more things would have been different”. STOP. There is nothing you could have done. Once someone has made this decision, they are going to see it through and it’s not your fault.

We all want answers when a tragedy like this happens. But, sometimes there is no clear answer and you will never know. Losing a loved one is never easy, but when it happens like this, it is worse. So don’t judge those that have taken their own life, as you don’t know their story or pain. In Islam Suicide is not allowed and I do not agree with it. But, when you see and experience the pain of losing someone to suicide you realise why it is not a good way of dying. But, I will always pray and hope that my angel enters heaven. Miss you…

Death waits for no one

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dead soldier

There are only two guarantees in life; death and birth. Live your life to the max and like it’s your last day. How many times have you heard people chant these sayings? Would it make a difference if we knew when we would die? How many of us would want to know how and when we die? We will all at some point experience some in our lives dying.

I heard the news of my cousin’s death through my cousin. He died of a heart attack suddenly. A healthy man in his late thirties with four children. He had everything to live for. Was it his time to go? The news came as a shock and of course I was grief stricken and my heart went out to his loved ones. But, I was unable to cry as I didn’t have a bond or connection with him. Does that make me heartless and not compassionate? What shocked me the most was that he’s only a few years older than me and he wasn’t ill.

We never know how to deal with death properly. No matter how prepared we are for it and know that our time or those of our loved ones will come, it still comes as a shock. Remember to all cherish those you love as you don’t know when they will be gone forever.

Commuters nightmare…

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London is a commuter’s nightmare and getting from A to B, can sometimes take longer than travelling to another city.

You can catch the tube and be forced to get up close and personal with your fellow commuters. Eye contact is avoided on the tube as is making polite chitchat. So where do you look? At the countless Viagra, phone and insurance ads? Alternatively, do you look at the celling or at the floor? Most choose to look down. As you look down you notice people’s shoes. You see designer, sports, simple, crazy and Primark’s finest shoes on display. Some you will admire and think damn I want those shoes, whereas others you will think, did you leave the house without looking at the mirror this morning. Have you never heard of shoe polish? So, if you’re travelling by tube ensure your shoes are on trend and clean. There is no excuses for poor foot wear.

If you’re a high flyer, you can travel by taxi and have the luxury of being stuck in traffic for hours and forced to listen to your cab driver swear a million times. ‘Can’t you see where you are going, you prat’. ‘Does your dad own the road’? Be wary of what cab you choose as it could cost you your life and time. If you go with a cabbie whose dream was to be a Formula one racer, you may throw up and stink of puke. If you get a cabbie, who should have won the lead role in Driving miss Daisy, you will die of boredom and frustration, but get to see London in slow motion. Therefore, the rule of catching a cab is to shout loudly, put your hand out and say oi cabby you are booked.

If the rising costs of commuting are getting you down, then you can always opt to walk or cycle. Please ensure you have the correct footwear when walking. Walking heels will give you bunions and back pain. Yes, we know heels make our legs looks slimmer and that Nike Air trainers do not go well with miniskirts. However, it is a small price to pay if you do not want ugly feet with callous and bunions. If you must cycle, then remember Lycra is your friend and avoid bright colours during the day unless you are cycling to the carnival. Always wear a helmet.  A helmet will ruin your blow-dried hair you spent ages styling. However, a helmet is better than spending hours in A and E, unless you want to date a hunky Dr. But, how many hot Dr are there?

If you fancy a bit of sightseeing and travelling at a good pace, then the bus is your friend. It’s ok to make idle chit chat on the bus and you don’t have to stare at the floor or the celling. You can be antisocial and play on your IPhone or Whatsapp all your contacts. You also get to spot the sights and if you are lucky, you will get a window seat. The best thing about the bus is that they run all night and it’s cheaper than catching the tube. Therefore, you can use the extra cash to splash out on a new pair of shoes. Go and treat yourself.

Therefore, as a Londoner, you are spoilt by the choices of public transport available.