Have you ever witnessed a domestic violence incident between a couple? How many of you have tried to intervene? ‘Don’t hit her you idiot’ Or do you tend to stand back and observe the scene and give a running commentary to anyone who will listen? ‘Can you believe he just hit her? It’s so bad. I feel sorry for her’
Domestic violence on any accounts is wrong. A real man does not raise his hands to strike a woman. Yet statistics show that domestic violence is on the up. 1 in 4 women will be a victim of domestic violence in their lifetime – many of these on a number of occasions.
We assume that women who suffer from physical or mental abuse must be weak and insecure. But, this isn’t the case. Rihanna is a strong, confident woman and yet it happened to her. Why as women do we allow men to control and abuse us?
I witnessed a scene of domestic violence yesterday at a concert. You could see it happening as the guy had already lashed out at the girl and walked away from her. But, her mistake is that she waited for him and allowed him to speak to her like that in front of an audience of music lovers. She should have walked away at that point and told him to go and kiss her ass and shove his drink where the sun doesn’t shine. But, no she sat quietly and let him say whatever he wanted.
Out of nowhere a fight erupted and all you saw was him throwing punches at the girl. He missed her and hit her friend instead. The crowd just stood and watched. The only people who intervened were women. The fellas just carried on shaking their thing and drinking their drink. I watched in disbelief and couldn’t believe that in crowd of 16,000 people a scene of domestic violence had taken place. This wasn’t behind closed doors, but literally in front of an audience. The guy’s friends held him back, but stayed with their boy. They should have left his sorry ass and told him he’s a fool.
So, what would you do if you witnessed a scene like this or if it happened to you?
Let’s think of a scenerio where this may have happened to you and you were left thinking, OMG, can’t you just take the hint.
A friend of mine planned a meal for her and her boyfriend. She bought some groceries for the meal and bumped into a friend who asked her what she is cooking. She told her she is cooking for her and the man. The friend then asks can I come as well and what time is dinner. She also asks if she can bring her brother. Seriously would you ask if you could crash that dinner party? My flriend told her she didn’t have enough food etc and stuttered. But the friend hammered on about coming. Common sense is lost on some people. If she wanted her to come she would have invited her. What would you have done in the situation? Been polite and said of course you can gate crash my intimate meal or seriously can’t you take the hint and stay at home.
Does it annoy you when people don’t drop a subject and are like a dog with a bone. If someone changes the subject when you ask them something or gives you a one word answer, take the damn hint instead of forcing them to tell you. Who agrees with me here?
As I flick through the pages of the latest Vogue I notice the models striking cheek bones with envy. I wonder if its make-up or clever lighting that makes their cheeks jump out. Or are they blessed with fantastic genes and cheeks you can cut ice on. I look in the mirror at my own cheeks and realise that they aren’t high, but slightly chubby. Damn it, I missed out on the cheek bones genes. I search the net for tips on how to sculpt my face so that I can bring out my cheeks to its fullest.
‘Suck your cheeks and apply blusher’
‘Use bronzer to sculpt your cheeks’
‘Starve yourself so your face becomes skinny’
The tips are endless and I decide to put them to use. I scour the cosmetic stands for the perfect bronzer. I choose the Givenchy Sun Prism bronzer as I love the colour and it doesn’t make me look like I have been tangoed or a glitter ball. Next, I look for a sculpting brush. MAC does an amazing sculpting brush that feels amazing on my skin. It isn’t cheap and the sales assistant sells it to me.
Armed with my new purchases I sit in front of my mirror and get to work. I lightly get some bronzer onto my brush and then place it under my cheekbones and brush upwards. I am careful not to apply too much as I don’t want to look like an orang-utan. Once, my bronzer is complete I get a highlighter and apply it lightly over the top to create a softer look. I have to say my cheeks look pretty good. Who is the woman with the nice cheekbones staring at me in the mirror. Oh, it’s me. I’ll admit I don’t look like a supermodel, but it’s a good improvement.
Red, plums, violets, greens and yellow fabrics rich in colour and texture greet me as I walk into the Asian clothes shop. Every colour under the sun is available on rolls and rolls of fabric. I am spoilt for choice as I hunt for a colour that will suit my tanned complexion. I am drawn to the rich purple material and its intricate design and wonder how it will look on me. As I touch it, it feels like silk in my hand and I instantly want to stroke it and hold it against my skin. I stop and stare at the exquisite fabric and think about how I can get it sewn. Would I like a dress, trousers or fitted legging style trousers? The options for loose material are endless and I allow my imagination to run wild.
Why stop at one material? Can I afford another one? So what if I can’t, it’s too tempting to just stop at one. I didn’t notice that gorgeous pink chiffon material before. That would look amazing against my skin tone I say out aloud and cause people in the shop to look at me like a diva.
Forget the material; I haven’t even begun to look at the jewellery, shoes and bags. I feel like I am in Aladdin’s café and if I wrap that silk material around me I could pretend I am the genie in the lamp and start doing some belly dancing. I put my sensible head on and only buy the material I need. ‘How many yards do you need Madame’ says the sour faced shop keeper.’Ermm, I don’t know. How many yards do I need’. I say in a confused manner. How am I meant to know how many yards I need? Isn’t the shop keeper meant to know just by looking at me? This isn’t as easy as I though. ‘What are you making’? ‘I am making an Asian outfit’. No way Einstein mutters the shop keeper under his breath. ‘I want a fitted churidar outfit with a long dress’ I say in a confident and smug manner. ‘Finally. You will need four yards and have you seen our shoes and bags’. I just want my material and to scarper from here and no I don’t want to look at shoes or bags, otherwise I will leave with a serious dent in my wallet.
I pay for the material. A bargain at £30 and leave the shop with a skip in my step. Now all I need to do is find a super-hot tailor that can make me look like a Bollywood siren. It shouldn’t be too hard should it?
Who loves fashion? How many times do you stare at the covers of Vogue and Tattler, just because the model/actress/celebrity catches your eye? You have not even noticed the headlines or price. All you can think about is how you wish you could pull of the outfit. Your lost in your thoughts and imagine you’re a size 0 and have legs up to your armpits. ‘Excuse me love this isn’t a library. Are you buying that magazine, if not, please put it back’. Reality kicks in and you realise you are not 5ft10 and your body looks nothing like Gisele’s. But, does that mean you can’t wear the clothes on the runway? Seriously, how many women can give supermodels a run for their money? Certainly not me. But, I still want to look hot to trot and wear the latest trends.
So what’s the trick to looking good and super cool? Knowing your body shape and what suits you, can help you rock an outfit and look like a million dollars.
I like to think I have nice shoulders, although one cheeky chap said they resemble a rugby players shoulders. He was just a hater and luckily I ignored the fool. I try to play up to my best assets; my toned shoulders by wearing dresses or tops that accentuate them. My hips unlike Shakira’s do lie and need a bit of work before I can show them of. So, I can’t pull of the wet look leggings look with a short top. But, if I wear an off the shoulder long top with my leggings then I can totally pull it of.
So ladies please note that you can still pull of a catwalk look as long as you pick a look that suits your body shape.
What is a ball breaker? Is it a woman who is good at her job because of her intellect and won’t entertain slackers in the work place? Why do we fear women who aren’t afraid to voice their opinion or come down on their co-workers like a ton of bricks if they screw up? When men or women think of a female ball breaker, what images comes to their mind? A short, fat, testosterone high female ? Can a ball breaker ever be normal, compassionate, nice and intelligent? In the work place we often fear women who aren’t shy to come forward or tell it how it is. Both sexes cower when they speak and muster a hello when they walk by. What makes us decide a woman is a ball breaker? Power, intellect, control, respect, equality, desire to do well? Why shouldn’t a woman lay the down the law at work and be heard or just succeed at what she does. We live in a male dominated society in which men make up most boardroom numbers. So, I welcome these powerful no nonsense, intelligent and confident women who can keep it real with the ballers and big boys. So, next time you come across a confident women admire her, for her strength and confidence. The ultimate high flyer woman is one who lures us with her charm and wit and is not afraid to work hard and be heard.